I have a confession to make: I’m out of shape. Yes, I write about and love fitness, and if I really had to I could muster up a 5K race, but right now I am not fit. At least, not anywhere near the level of fit I want to be.

I have not consistently been working out and eating healthily. That’s really all there is to it. I need to break my bad eating habits in general and make time for exercise less sporadically.

When I was running 30-40 miles a week a few years ago, I could really eat anything I wanted. But things are different now. Not only do I have various injuries that keep me from running all those miles, but I really want to focus more on family life right now – spending time with Brian and the dogs, and creating a healthy living routine for all of us that feels natural.

I know numbers on the scale aren’t how we should measure overall health, but when I met Brian in 2009 (and was at my fittest ever) I weighed about 115 lbs. I was running all the time and also going through a divorce. I had lost about 30 lbs. from my heaviest weight a year before.

Right now I have about 20 lbs. to lose to get to a place where I’m happy with my weight. But it’s not just about those 20 lbs. I also want to feel better about myself in general. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to be able to put on clothes without having to throw a Hail Mary pass to the button on my jeans.

How am I going to go about this? Well, I just joined in on a “biggest loser” type of contest at my family’s printing business, Barrington Printing. I’m banking on the fact that entering the contest will act as a source of motivation (and competition!) to give me the push I need. We had our first weigh-in this week and although I do not want to share what I weighed, I will. It’s in the interest of putting myself “out there” in order to start making changes.

My starting weight is 148.8.

(I will put a BEFORE photo up, but I have to wait until someone can take the picture of me. And then I will cry.)

As far as changing my diet, I’ve spent the last few days scouring Pinterest for recipes and I am going to go on a shopping/cooking frenzy this weekend to get cracking on eating well. In terms of exercise, I am going to try to try Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred on Gaiam TV and commit to 3 days of yoga per week. I’d also like to start swimming again.

I’m going to track my progress in my Believe I Am Training Journal, which was developed by two professional female athletes to inspire women with encouraging messages and quotes. The journal features motivational musings and cheeky designs by the creators themselves. I’m going to use this it as a way to help me set and achieve my goals!

One of the Believe I Am creators is Róisín McGettigan, who also lives in RI, and we got together last month to chat. She is so inspiring and so passionate about offering a way for women to spend a moment each day recognizing their efforts.

Ro also gifted me with a Believe I Am Butterfly Necklace, which I LOVE! It is composed of the words “I AM” and serves as a visual cue or reminder of the characteristics you want to bring out in yourself. I always get compliments when I wear it, and people love it even more when I point out that it spells out “I AM”.

I’m ready to get fit! I will be checking in every week to track my progress.

Do you keep a training log to track your workouts?

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Disclosure: I received a Believe I Am training journal and necklace, but all opinions are my own.