“These aren’t shorts. They’re UNDERWEAR.”

Ironman

Yesterday morning, I drove almost to Boston with Audrey to keep her company on her way to an interview on Fox 25 Morning News.

When I arrived at Audrey’s home at 6:15 am, I was surprised that her two littlest guys, Ben (4) and Henry (3), were wide awake… but I was absolutely delighted that they were coming along for the ride.

We hopped on the highway and made such good time that I suggested stopping at a Panera near the station for coffee, milk and bagels.

Audrey said, “We can’t go in.  Ben has only a t-shirt and underwear on.  That’s what he slept in.”

I hadn’t noticed.

“OK,” I said.  “I’ll bring the stuff out to the car.”

But of course that was not going to work.  Kids love going in.

The conversation began the very second I pulled into the parking lot.  “You guys are staying in the car with me while Grandma gets the bagels,” Audrey explained.

“I wanna go in,” Ben said.

Henry quickly echoed this request.  “I wanna go in, too,” he said.

“We’re staying in the car,” Audrey repeated.

Several times.

But kids are way too smart for Moms and Grandmas… and Ben came up with the ringer.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he announced.

We were an hour from home.  Audrey had an interview that we weren’t sure how long would last.  And then the hour drive home.

Smart little guy.

And Henry quickly echoed again, “I have to go the bathroom, too.”

I took note of Ben’s outfit as he hopped from the car.  He was wearing a long, blue t-shirt, but I could see little red shorts-type things under it.

Ah.  Boxer shorts. We’re gonna be all right, I thought.

We all headed to the bathroom.  Audrey had Henry.  I had Ben.

While we were in the bathroom, three women came in.  Henry was very quick and Audrey took him out into the restaurant.

Ben was not so quick.

I could see the shoes of the three women, two in stalls and one waiting.

When Ben was done, I said, “Come on, Honey.  People are waiting.  Pull up your shorts.”

Ben looked at me like I was standing there in my underwear.

“THESE AREN’T SHORTS, GRANDMA.  THEY’RE UNDERWEAR,”  Ben said.  Loudly.

“Um.  I think they’re shorts, Honey,” I said.

“NO, GRANDMA.  SEE?  THEY’RE IRONMAN UNDERWEAR,” Ben said.  Loudly. As he pointed to Ironman on the hem of his boxer shorts.

“Well, they look like shorts, Honey,” I said.  Maybe loudly.

By then, Ben had his blue t-shirt pulled up around his waist to explain to me in detail that he had on Ironman UNDERWEAR.

“OK.  Let’s just pull them up,” I said.

We left the stall with the blue t-shirt neatly and completely covering the giveaway of the UNDERWEAR… with the red hem of Ironman looking pretty much like shorts.

Phew.

What is it that makes kids so darned HONEST?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Audrey

Audrey McClelland has been a digital influencer since 2005. She’s a mom of 5 and shares tips on her three favorite things: parenting, fashion and beauty. She’s also a Contemporary Romance Author.

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