How Many Kids Do You Want?

Melissa from The Mommyhood Chronicles, a fellow Rhody blogger, posed an interesting question today to moms: How many kids do you want?

When you already have kids, I’m sure this can be a tough question to answer, and I’m sure many factors go into the decision. Some mothers have told me they just know when their family is complete. Some want to at least try to have one of each gender. Some might want a specific number of children regardless of the gender breakdown. And some want another child, but have a spouse who isn’t on the same page.

As for me, someone who is not yet a mom (to humans) at all? Well, it’s a tough question for me to answer, too. First of all, there’s always a chance that getting pregnant won’t come easily – or at all – for me and Brian. We both really want to be parents, though, so I’m sure we would go over other options at that point. But if it happens that we can get pregnant on our own (which is hopefully the case!), I’ve definitely given thought to the question of how many kids we’d have.

Me, holding my nephew Henry shortly after he was born in June 2008

I loved growing up as one of four children. It was just a lot of fun. There was always someone to talk to. Always someone to hang out with. Our family vacations were always a blast. With six people under one roof, our house was always pretty loud and had a lot of activity, but I loved it. And now that my three siblings have nine kids between them (with another on the way), I continue to love having a big, close-knit, boisterous family.

I think in a perfect world I would choose to have four kids. I would love to have a big family of my own so that my kids could grow up in the same type of environment I did. But I seriously doubt that will happen. And I hate to admit that. The thing is, I’m a very anxious person by nature and I feel like having a lot of kids would be too overwhelming for me. I know, I know, everyone worries. But believe me, I take it to another level. I have anxiety about everything and I feel that throwing a bunch of kids into the mix would make me a major stress case – which wouldn’t be good for anyone.

I actually even have serious anxiety about being pregnant. Not just labor (though that’s high up there on the things-to-be-anxious-about list), but the whole part about something growing inside of me. I know so many women love being pregnant, and think it’s a beautiful experience. And I do want to be pregnant in order to have the end result of a baby, but I have to admit that the whole idea of growing a human being inside of me scares me a little. Okay, a lot.

So, as it stands, I guess I don’t have an answer to How many kids do you want? I’m taking the let’s-wait-and-see approach: Let’s wait and see if I can get pregnant easily. Let’s wait and see how my pregnancy, labor and delivery go. Let’s wait and see how we manage to take care of one tiny human being. (I say “we” but I really mean “I” because I just know Brian is going to be a natural.)

I know it’s ironic for me to stress out over having a large number of kids, given that Brian and I have three big dogs and I could honestly picture us adopting more if we had the space. Yes, (of course) I worry about my dogs, but for some reason I kind of feel like I have the dog mama thing under control. It feels natural to me.

As for kids? We’ll just have to wait and see.

About Audrey

Audrey McClelland has been a digital influencer since 2005. She’s a mom of 5 and shares tips on her three favorite things: parenting, fashion and beauty. She’s also a Contemporary Romance Author.

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  1. 1.8.13

    I had answered over on Melissa’s blog about how I’m having the same debate right now. How many??
    Also, I was NOT one of those women who loved being pregnant. I understand it’s amazing and it’s a miracle, but there was something about it that gave me anxiety, so I understand, and can relate to, your concerns!
    That said, no matter what, you’ll be a fabulous momma!

  2. 1.8.13
    sheri said:

    Your going to be an absolutely awesome human mommy no matter how many you add to that large boisterous family. Xo

  3. 1.9.13
    candice said:

    I am an only child and I didn’t mind it at all growing up. My hubby is one of three. #2 is due in June and I am very anxious about going from 1 child to 2. I love the idea of a big family so we will see.

  4. 1.9.13
    candice said:

    PS! I am so excited for you no matter how many children you have. Looking at those 3 happy doggies says it all. And they will make great older siblings. 🙂

  5. 1.9.13

    I think you’ll make a great mom, and the fact that you already contemplate about possible stress & anxiety says you are really in touch with yourself- that’s awesome! I know exactly what you are talking about! As much as I loved having a pregnant belly, I was always privately concerned with how the baby was doing- I was a secret stress case, lol!

  6. 1.9.13
    mel said:

    Aw- the thought of kids. YOu are going to be a wonderful mom with how many children you decide!

  7. 1.9.13
    Sarah {Soxys Diamond} said:

    You and I are a lot alike! One of my biggest fears about ever having a baby is the actual growing of a baby inside me. I don’t know that I would love (or even like) that one bit. I used to always think I wanted three kids, now I debate having one (if it’s even possible). I absolutely love kids and have a lot of live to give but it’s a big decision.

  8. 1.9.13
    admin said:

    Janie… you are a natural Mommy, nurturer, loving, caring, give-it-all person. You always have been. Your compassion and humor and love will soar as you enter into Mommyhood and you’ll wonder why you ever wondered! I love you with love that defies explanation, and to hold YOUR babies will bring even that to another level! Blessings will come your way… xoxox! Mom

  9. 1.9.13
    Karen said:

    We are in the “always dreamed of 4 but let’s just see how having 1 goes” camp too. LOL Definitely NO doubt in my mind that you and Brian will be amazing, natural parents to however many you are blessed with!

  10. 1.10.13

    I have ALWAYS wanted three because I came from a family with three. Hubby agreed until we actually HAD them. Now he says TWO only!! =(

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