If you’re a full time working mom, this one is for you. I started working when I was 12 years old. I begged and begged and begged my parents to let me babysit younger kids in our neighborhood. When they finally agreed, I took it very seriously. I made flyers and walked door to door passing them out to all of my neighbors. The babysitting jobs came and I loved it.
10 Things a Full-Time Working Mom Doesn’t Want to Hear
When I was 16 years old, I started life-guarding at a local pool club during the summer months.
When I went away to college (all of 20 minutes away from home, to Brown University), I worked on campus throughout my 4 years.
The moment I graduated from Brown in May of 2000, I started applying for jobs in NYC. NYC was this “golden place” that I desperately wanted to try out for a few years. I remember driving to NYC after graduation and asking one of my friends (who lived there) if I could keep her yellow pages. I cold-called about 50 fashion houses, just to get their Human Resources fax number so I could send along my resume. I was like a dog with a bone! LOL! Donna Karan was the first company to call me back and I accepted their job offer as soon as I was interviewed and the job was offered to me.
Here I am now, 38 years old and I’m a full time working mom. I guess not much has changed since I was 12 years old. I love to work. Work is my happy place. I love the hustle of work. I love the adrenaline of work. I love work because I love what I do, I always have loved what I’ve done for work… it’s the secret to being a happy person.
The only difference between me now (as a full time working mom) and me then (as a teenage go-getter) is that I’m my own boss now. All responsibilities fall upon me. Everything. If something doesn’t go right, it’s on me. If something goes awesome, it’s on me. If I’m crazy and stressed and overwhelmed, it’s on me. It’s all – on me, but I love that about being an entrepreneur. I love the rush, the sting, the craze, the hunt and the hustle of being my own boss, my own hustler.
I will also add in here, I don’t have the option not to work, so for me – though I love what I do, there isn’t an option of me just deciding to “quit.” I think that’s a big thing to disclose because I get so tired of people raining on people’s work ethic when they truly don’t know the background of the personal situation. I just don’t have the option not to work, so it’s never been something in my mind to do.
Since I work online as a social influencer, much of my life and my work life is on constant display, only because that’s the nature of social media. 🙂 As the mom of 5 kids and the wife to my college sweetheart, my family is brought into my work all the time, too. It also opens me to people sharing comments with me, though maybe not meant to hurt or dig, but truly do leave a mark sometimes.
What kinds of comments am I talking about? They come sometimes in dribbles and other time at full speed. Truthfully – with age comes wisdom, so I’m able to filter much of it out and not dwell on it. But the more I’ve opened myself up to other people about these kinds of comments I get, the more I’m seeing that I’m not alone.
These are my “top” 10 comments/questions that I get the most in some shape or form for being a full time working mom…
1. How do your kids deal with all your travel?
2. Are your kids old enough to understand what you do for a living? Are they OK with their lives being out there, too?
3. How can you work so much with 5 kids?
4. Your husband is a Saint.
5. You must love getting away when you travel and leaving all the crazy behind.
6. Do you ever take a break?
7. You must always feel like you’re on a hamster wheel. Just spinning, spinning, spinning.
8. How do your kids do in school with you away so much?
9. Who helps your husband when you’re away all the time?
10. (My favorite – because I’ve been told this.) It must be tough being the breadwinner, I’m so glad I don’t have that pressure on me.
I’ve definitely taken the time to respond to people throughout the years, always with the philosophy to kill them with kindness. It’s my journey. It’s my family. It’s my life. It’s my work. It’s not worth a mean response, even if I’m feeling it.
At the end of the day, the one thing I want is this simple truth.
I want my husband and my children to know that I work hard for them, every single day. I work hard because I want them to see the benefits of doing something you love to do. I don’t come home crying because I have a boss I hate. I don’t come home stressed and hating everything I do and work on. My family sees my working hard and hustling hard for them… for our family, for our well-being. I’ve never had the need to live in the biggest house or drive the fanciest car, but I do want to be able to provide (and then some) for my family. I want them to see me as an example of what happens when you go after your dreams, as crazy and as outlandish as they may seem (who woulda thought blogging would turn into this 10 years ago!?).
So the moral of this post?
I don’t know. I just kind of needed to vent and get it out this morning. I had someone ask me one of these questions this past weekend and it made me shake my head because it was said in front of my sons; almost like I was doing them a disservice by working, especially a job that requires me to travel so much. Fortunately, my sons know better and can brush a comment off easily. All of us are just doing what we do in the world. We’re working. We’re loving. We’re providing. We’re just living. Our own definition of a “normal” life is different for everyone, not one person is the same. My life works perfectly for our family, as it does for every family.
My best advice?
Just live life the best way you want to… enjoy the ride and enjoy the hustle. And maybe – just maybe – as best as you can, filter out everything that comes at you that isn’t anything but positive.
Check out some other content I’ve written when it comes to being a full time working mom:
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