Squirrels are kind of cute. Like when they’re 30+ feet away from me, gnawing on nuts and minding their own business.
A squirrel in my house? Not so cute.
I woke up Wednesday morning at around 4:30 am to odd little scratching sounds. At first, I thought our little Lab granddog, Ryder, was grooming herself. She sleeps with Barry and me, right up on our bed… like the princess she knows she is. Ryder loves to look beautiful, and she grooms herself with adorable delicacy. I sat up in bed to check on her, but she was sound asleep.
I cocked my ears, but headed back under the covers. The sounds returned.
I woke up Barry to those words that husbands love, “Honey, do you hear that?”
“What?” he answered, half… no, wholly asleep.
“Those scratching sounds. Above our heads. Like something is in the attic,” I whispered.
Barry responded with manly self-assuredness, “Ryder would be going crazy if there was something in the attic.”
“OK,” I agreed.
But the sounds returned, and this time Barry perked up. There was definitely something in our attic, right above our heads, moving around. We could hear its paws and nails…
At this, Barry and I popped out of bed. Barry grabbed his binoculars and we headed outside (the front of our house, on the side where the interloper was, is 3 stories high, so the binoculars would come in handy). Our house is also on a fairly main road, but at that early hour no-one was around. No walkers. No runners or cyclists. No cars. We crossed the street and stood on the opposite sidewalk, Barry scanning the gutters and roof line over our bedroom.
Barry soon whispered, “Ah, ha. A hole,” as he focused in on one area. Then he said, “And there’s the culprit.”
He handed me the binoculars… and there it was. A squirrel. Popping its head out like he/she actually lived there. Like a high-rise condo with a nice little balcony. Mocking us. I said something totally inappropriate that began with, “That little…” that I won’t repeat here, and I said it rather loudly (cut me a little slack here, please, because I was thinking about the time and $ it was going to take to evict this visitor).
And that’s when I noticed a lady, walking her dog, passing right behind me on the sidewalk.
I almost died. Here were these two people standing on the sidewalk at the very crack of dawn with a pair of binoculars focused in on… what “Little #@#*”? What did she think? Were we stalking someone? Were we just… nuts?
She didn’t say anything. And I said nothing more. But I looked at Barry and we burst into inappropriate laughter. Inappropriate seemed the order of the morning.
So now here were these two people standing on the sidewalk at the very crack of dawn with a pair of binoculars focused in on… what “Little #@#*”? And laughing like little school girls.
Ah… good times.
Long story short… that little bugger cost us, so far, $395.00 to humanely remove it and put a temporary screen over the hole. Next comes the carpenter/contractor to head up to that squirrel condo with the nice view and mend the hole. That oughta be a fun bill.
What a cute little squirrel.