33 years ago tonight, Barry and I were celebrating our impending marriage on August 14th with a wonderful rehearsal dinner at his mother’s home. In those days, rehearsal dinners weren’t the huge things they are today. They were, rather, a nice dinner after the church rehearsal… sort of a thank you for being in the wedding party, or traveling to be with us, and helping us celebrate the most wonderful and meaningful time of our lives.
The problem was that everyone we knew and loved was at Flo and Joe’s home for a wonderful home-cooked feast… but Barry and me.
We were at a local hospital.
You see, Barry has Crohn’s Disease, and on August 13, 1976 he had a major attack. I won’t get into gruesome details here, but there was lots of blood. OK. That is gruesome. It began at St. Joseph’s Church, on Hope Street, in Providence and carried through to his parents’ home. At some point that night I made the decision to get him to the hospital. Pronto. We would be there until 2:00 am on our wedding day. There were many moments that night when I thought, “OK. This wedding isn’t happening.”
I remember the feast that Flo had prepared… the feast that we would miss. I remember the fear in Flo’s eyes as I insisted that we head to the emergency room. I remember the gracious hostess that she was, ready to put on her party in spite of her unthinkable fear for her son.
And that is why, tonight, as Barry and I headed out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurant/bars, I wore a necklace that had belonged to Flo. I wanted to honor Flo for her love, her devotion, her abominable spirit, her joy for family. I have the great privilege of being the keeper of Flo’s jewelry, and I spent a long time picking out just the right piece. Flo loved big jewelry… nothing expensive, but big. I decided on a piece designed in wood. I don’t know where she got this piece, but I remember that she wore it often. I put it on. But then I took it off. I wasn’t sure if it looked just right. Then I put it back on. And took it off. Then I put it back on and decided that it was perfect. It was Flo.
When Barry and I had settled at the bar of the restaurant, a young man next to me commented on how much he loved my necklace. I was stunned, to say the least. I told him of Flo and how I wanted to honor her tonight, and that led to a wonderful conversation about life and love and home and work and all kinds of beautiful things. When that young man left, a woman to our left commented on how much she loved my necklace. Stunned doesn’t even begin to describe my thought. I told her of Flo and our anniversary and we talked of marriage and love and life and kids and her being an auntie. All because of Flo’s necklace.
What makes this necklace even more powerful is that I also wore it to the swim meet that 3 of our grandchildren were in this past weekend. I wanted to have something of Flo at that meet, knowing how much she would have loved seeing her great-grandchildren swim. It was Taylor who asked me about my necklace. I told her it had been Nana-Flo’s, and I explained that I had chosen to wear it as an amulet of sorts… a symbol of Nana-Flo and her great love and extra luck. Taylor asked if she could put it on, and of course I said, “Yes.” Taylor held it in her hands and told me that it smelled like Nana Flo. It was one of the happiest moments of my life to know that Flo was there… and that her first great-grandchild could feel her, too.
33 years. 33 years ago tonight, I remember sitting in the emergency room and wondering if I would be a bride the next morning. I would be. With lots of medication and a spirit just like his Mom’s, Barry would be waiting for me at the other end of the aisle of that beautiful church on Hope Street.
Hope got us there. Hope sent us these 33 wonderful years. And hope is what we will always have with our angels surrounding us. I can only wish this happiness and joy and love of family that we have been blessed with all these years to everyone on earth.
OK. That wedding did happen! Happy, Happy Anniversary, Honey! I loved you, then. I love you now. I always will… !!
