DOING “the elevator”… different from RIDING the elevator

So I’m working my friendly purple pole in the subdued darkness to the beat of Hit Me Baby One More Time of my 2nd pole dancing class feeling pretty darned confident that I have some of the dance steps and spins memorized… well, kind of, when the music stops.


What the?

And that’s when Jennifer, our pole dancing drill sergeant, turns up the lights, stops the music and hits us with a lesson in “the elevator.”

Picture this. Arms wide on the now sardonic purple pole. Left hand way up. Right hand just below the chest. I’m listening to the instruction to whip up my right leg way up above my left hand. Hook my foot around the pole. Leg straight. Almost simultaneously grab my left foot onto my right foot. It gets better. Then slide down the pole slowly. Upside down. Like, you know, an elevator.

Did I say slowly?

Let’s go back to the part of whipping up my right leg. Straight.

Can you hit me baby with something a little easier at my second class? But as I look around, most of the other girls are upside down on the pole. OK. I try. And try. And try. Oh baby give me a sign that I shouldn’t run now while I still have an ounce of dignity. Ah, here comes Jennifer. She tells me to start at the floor. Kind of sitting nice and low to the floor and easing the legs into the straight, sexy, easy oh baby baby pole I shouldn’t have to let you go feeling that I think I can do this thing. I’m not gonna give up. No way. Not now.

I look around the room to see upside down “dancers” and realize that most of them have the boots. The boots. I don’t have those low and sexy pink and black pole dancing boots. Are the boots the elevator’s secret lift? Oh how was I supposed to know that something wasn’t right here with my sneakers. Of course. It’s the sneakers, all practical and grounded.

Hit me baby one more time. Please. Then I do it. I do it. I do it! My legs are up and over my feet and I just hang there… since I am already on the bottom floor, so to speak, and I am so low to the floor that there is nowhere to elevator to.

But I do it.

And by next week I will have my boots. The boots. I’m gonna buy them today.

Hit me baby in one more week. Stay tuned for a real elevator ride.

About Audrey

Audrey McClelland has been a digital influencer since 2005. She’s a mom of 5 and shares tips on her three favorite things: parenting, fashion and beauty. She’s also a Contemporary Romance Author.

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  1. 10.28.09

    I want a photo of you in ‘the’ boots

  2. 10.28.09
    Barry said:

    Sounds like you need a spotter!

  3. 10.28.09

    All I could think of was if that was me and I could somehow manage to get in that position, I’d probably slide down the pole and land on my head. Really sexy! You of course mastered it. Amazing and I want to see pictures.

  4. 10.29.09
    Connie said:

    I hope you are not insulted but this is hilarious! Yes, indeed, lots of pictures!

    You SO rock, Sharon!

  5. 10.29.09

    OMG Barry’s comment cracked me up!

    So proud of you courage and ambition with this list. Incredible!

  6. 10.29.09

    WE WANT TO SEE PICTURES! I am cracking up at imagining this. And I just knew you would master this. Barry probably can’t wait til he installs that pole in your bedroom!

  7. 10.29.09
    Connie said:

    Yes, you do need a dance pole in your home. It would be a nice contemporary touch in your historical house.

  8. 10.29.09
    Poppy said:

    Need to see the boots, NEED TO SEE THE BOOTS!

Comments are closed.