Today, while discussing potential plans for this coming Valentine’s Day, it occurred to Brian and I that we don’t remember what we did for Valentine’s Day last year.
There was no secretive planning or big surprises or roses strewn about a room. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
I guess it just wasn’t a really big deal for us, and I think I know why: we make it a priority to show our love for each other, do romantic things and come up with little surprises every day.
From the very beginning of our relationship – and even before – Brian has been extremely chivalrous to me. He holds doors for me. He holds my coat when I put it on. When he makes coffee in the morning, he has my mug, sugar and milk all set up for me when I get to the kitchen. When it snows, he wipes all the snow off my car and warms it up for me. Sometimes I’ll even go in the bathroom in the morning to find that he’s already put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
I was going through my divorce when I met Brian, as I’ve mentioned before. I met him about seven months after I separated from my ex-husband, so I had gone on a few dates with other guys during that time.
My faith in men – and, particularly, in finding the right man for me – was at an all-time low.
And then I met Brian.
I had never, ever dated anyone younger than me, I think because I equated younger with immaturity. And yet, here was this guy, almost 5 years younger than me, who had the quiet confidence and self-awareness of someone even older than me.
And he was so kind and caring and honorable.
When he told me he would call, he called. When he told me he’d meet me somewhere, he showed up.
To you, these many not seem like difficult tasks to master, but then you must not have dated some of the guys I did.
Back when we first met, I told Brian that I had had enough with undependable guys, and so when he would say he’d call me later, he’d add, “And you can count on that.”
He also told me he would never do anything to hurt me, and I remember thinking how sincere he was. I really believed him.
A year and a half later, I still do.
I can pinpoint the moment my feelings for Brian went from “I like this guy” to I like this guy.”
We were sitting on the beach, just the two of us, and we were talking about past relationships, my marriage, my trust issues… and he looked at me and said, “You’re like a little wounded yellow lab.”
I know it sounds funny, but he said it so sweetly and sincerely.
Then he moved his beach chair a few inches closer to mine and started gently stroking the top of my head.
Up until that moment, he had never held my hand or put his arm around me or anything.
It was that first moment of contact between us that just changed things for me.
I love Brian so much. I feel that we fit together so perfectly. He gets me in a way that no one else does.
Of course we will acknowledge Valentine’s Day this year… maybe we’ll even go out to dinner to celebrate.
But I am just so grateful to be with someone who shares his love with me every day, not just the days specifically marked on the calendar for it.
I love this – you guys are so wonderful, and so wonderful TO and FOR each other!
Beautiful post, Jane – so glad you’re happy – BOTH of you 🙂
So happy for you Jane!! I loved reading that you guys show that type of Valentines appreciation for each other everyday! I find that with my husband too–even for anniversaries, we celebrate of course but it’s never a huge huge deal because we regularly celebrate what what we have. Have a wonderful weekend!
It’s funny you write about this because I was talking to a friend just the other night. A mutual friend of ours is sneaking into her husband’s office to decorate it for Valentine’s Day. My friend was feeling bad because she never did anything like that for her husband. I laughed. My husband and I rarely celebrate Valentine’s Day, heck, if we remember our anniversary on the actual date we were married it’s pretty amazing. We have 4 children together and he works two jobs so I can stay at home with the kids. He’s amazing and sweet and loving every day of the year. I’ve had boyfriends that do it big on holidays, but they weren’t so nice on other days, or reliable, and I surely didn’t feel as free to be myself around them as I do with my Mr.Good. Brian is so your Mr.Good. I love reading your stories. Happy Valentines to you two! You are an example of True Love!
That’s the ticket Jane – that’s what counts most, the everyday things. Because the everyday things are what will sustain you. The minute I learned, through you, how Brian feels about the dogs I knew he was a person of good character. You’ve definitely found a gem in Brian and I’ve no doubt he is the type of man you deserve. You’re a beautiful couple inside and out. Happy Valentines HUG!
I was thinking to myself, what would be a very good valentine’s gift to give to my Janie and then it hit me, a response on a blog post. She always get’s on my case about how I never respond to her posts, most of the time she says I must not love her any more, very far from the truth. Referring to her most recent post, I do do those every day Valentine things, but that only cuts it on the normal days. Women say that’s good enough, but if you believe them, you would be wrong. So for this Valentines Day I’m stepping out of my box and posting a comment on Jane blog letting everyone I do exist (she not making up this great guy) and I love her. I’m now going to step back into the shadows and chime in from time to time or if I do some thing dumb and need to make up for it. So Happy Valentines Day Jane! I Love You!
love this post! love brian’s comment! and love the photo! love love love! 🙂
Oh I had saved this message to wait to leave a comment later since I had read it at work originally. So glad that I waited and I was able to see Brian’s comment as well. What a sincerely beautiful post. Hope you are enjoying every day as Valentine’s Day.
Your newest follower, Teresa