The Magic of Indoor Plumbing. (Or: One toilet down the stairs and across the entire house)

There is magic in indoor plumbing…


Last Friday, Barry and I closed on our “Retirement Cottage” on Hope Street…


But I must admit that the last thing I was hoping for was indoor plumbing.  (‘Cuz that generally comes standard, yes?)



On Sunday, we discovered a small leak in a pipe in the cellar.  That old pipe would just happen to be coming from the upstairs toilet, sink and shower.  Seems the previous owners (remember the people I told you about who used this home as an infrequent summer home in the midst of a real community?) left the heat turned low enough to allow a little pipe freezing to go on.

Good times.

For obvious reasons, we could not use the upstairs toilet… but fortunately, we are still able to use the upstairs sink and shower because our plumber (fortunately, a friend of ours) said that a little clean water coming from the pipe into our very old, fortunately empty cellar would not hurt much.


The downstairs half-bath with its little toilet is perfectly fine for day-time use, butt it’s half-way across the world from our upstairs bedroom… not the bedroom Barry and I will use when we get all cleaned, painted, moulding-ed, stripped (floors, that is) and all that… but the bedroom we must use now as we go into Phase One of decor renovations.

You know what happens when you’re old like me?  You have to use the bathroom during the night.  More than once.  So I’ve mapped out a trail for myself…

Current bedroom


Turn right
Down the stairs, past the front door

Except it’s dark.  ‘Cuz it’s night, and all.  And I’m not all that familiar with nighttime in my new home in my new neighborhood.

Through the front and family rooms to-be

Past 6 windows.  With monsters and wild things looking in.  Of course.

Around the corner of the dining room

With 4 windows of its own… and more monsters and wild things in the night.

X marks the spot. Or more like "T" for toilet

Then back. Past the 10 windows with all the monsters and wild things, me running up the stairs like an Olympic hopeful.

I’ve thought of just waking up Barry and making him come with me.

I’ve thought of a Port-o-John in the upstairs hallway.

I’ve thought of an out-house right at the front door.

Then I think of the Magic of Indoor Plumbing.

Toilets, in particular…


I don’t know if there’s a luxury as, well… luxurious.

It’s something not to be taken for granted.  Even if it means trekking on nighttime journeys past monsters and wild things.


I am looking forward to getting that pipe to the upstairs toilet repaired.  Should be today.


Otherwise, I’ve gotta get a little training in night-time monsters and wild things defense.



About Audrey

Audrey McClelland has been a digital influencer since 2005. She’s a mom of 5 and shares tips on her three favorite things: parenting, fashion and beauty. She’s also a Contemporary Romance Author.

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  1. 5.9.12
    Rhonda said:

    BUTT…I love this play by play of your night time adventure just to empty your bladder. Just to let you know, depends are really not that uncomfortable, butt, make sure you get the right size cause they can be a little bulky. I love the little glimpses of your cozy retirement villa…..

  2. 5.9.12
    admin said:

    Rhonda… I’ve thought of this! Good to know! xo!

  3. 5.9.12
    Nancy said:

    Posts like this remind me of how funny you are. Maybe you should have the grandsons take turns spending the night and protecting you on your nightly journeys. They would love it! Hope the plumbing gets fixed quickly. I’d hate to have you peeing your pants or resorting to Depends. Love you, my sweet and funny friend.

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